14 Zulhijjah 1427H
suddenly i feel like i've lost the mood to blog.... at least for now.
been thinking...
a lot. as always laa Khadijah~
of actions,
intentions,
decisions,
purposes,
priorities,
feelings,
necessities VS wants,
n especially this:
mind VS heart.
the usual 'aql VS nafs VS qalb thingy...
hati ini,
kadangkala tak terkawal rasanya,
nak rasa apa, dia main rasa je.
tanpa amaran, tanpa disangka, tanpa dipinta.
mencabar sungguh proses pensucian hati ni kan?
Andainya hati itu secebis kain,
kan ku sental dan berus ia habis-habisan.
siap letak Dynamo, Chlorox, Softlan, Mami Lemon, (& 'benda' wangi yang orang selalu amik dari bilik air mak tu. lupa pulak namanya) sekali.
lepas tu rendam. lepas tu genyeh-genyeh sekuat hati. lepas tu jemur kat matahari.
biar putih, suci, murni, harum mewangi.
biar bersinar terang bak mentari,
seindah syurgawi.
barcahaya! berkilauan bak jauhari.
cerah, berseri-seri.
biar hapus bintik-bintik hitam dan daki...
yang sekian lama terkumpul akibat kekhilafan, kelalaian, kecuaian, kebodohan*, kelemahan dan kemalasan diri ini.
*kebodohan tak sama dengan kejahilan. Mudarris (my Arabic language teacher) pernah bilang: orang2 Arab Jahiliyyah tu digelarkan demikian, bukan kerana mereka bodoh, malahan ada di kalangan mereka yang bijak dalam sastera, perniagaan, dsb.
Digelarkan mereka jahil adalah kerana mereka tidak mempunyai hilm, tidak sabar, enggan mengakui dan menerima kebenaran...
Allahu wa RasuuluHu 'alam.
tapi sejak tahu pasal ni, orang cuba elakkan dari guna perkataan "jahil" lagi.
....................
haiz. macam drama pulak.
ingatkan nak compose post feeling siket. skali tu bila da nak siap ni jadi macam lawak laa pulak~ ish.
tapi betullah cerita psl hati tu.
rasa mcm hati ni kotor sgt sgt.
memang kotor pun agaknya. berdaki. eeii!
takpe Khadijah. masa yang ada ni, selagi hayat dikandung badan, teruskanlah usaha mensucikan hati awak tu. ikhtiar. ok?
:)
ok insyaAllah orang try.
-betul ni? nanti cakap je, tapi buatnye tidak. malu tau kalau gitu. Allah Maha Melihat, Maha Mengetahui. dan di akhirat kelak akan dipancarkan setiap perbuatan kita. buat tontonan semua manusia. yang dalam hati pun ada.
hmm~ takut betul nak janji. takut tak mampu ditepati. sekarang ni bolehlah cakap macam realz. tapi esok lusa? bila alah dengan sikap2 alpa, lupa...
tenggelam dalam ni'mat dunia (na'udzubillah)...
janji entah ke mana...
takutnya ya Allah!
Berilah daku Taufiq & HidayahMu
buat menyuluh, menerangi, membimbingku...
dalam melayari bahtera hidupku di dunia yang fana' ini.
p.s. tired of my bahasa rojak. so tried to compose this piece, with as little rojak language (huh?) as possible -_-"
anw, to my youngest sis, insyaAllah bila orang ada duit lebih, orang belikan hadiah hari jadi Dhilah k?
oh yes, dah baik semula dah. since weeks ago. hee~ alhamdulillah...
Thursday, January 04, 2007
My Khad
posted by .:Mujahidah Khadijah:. at 1/04/2007 12:52:00 PM
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3 Comments:
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At 1/10/2007 10:18 AM,
.:Mujahidah Khadijah:.w'salam warahmatullah
blum hilang mood 100%. to be honest, i'm partially addicted to blogging i guess. but no, not all the things in my mind n the events taking place in my life are to be mentioned here.
some things are better kept to myself :) n some, despite memorable in its own way, might not be suitable to be posted here for public viewing. mcm tak bermanfaat gitu kan. haa~
ntah laa. maybe kalau teringin sgt nak tulis buat tatapan generasi hari muka (heh), maybe i will blog on my daily life again. just on the surface? depends on my mood, the time, my conscience, etc etc.
leceh kan jadi Khadijah? byk gitu nak kene fikir...
tapi takpe~
anw, see? i'm already blabbering.
in reply to ur teka-teki: jawapannya:
"nampak sah bedek!"
kan kan? -_-"
salam'alaik sis...
:) so hows everything? kite harap awk tk hilang mood nye untuk blog k... ur entry so far have been a kind of pembawa semangat..peransang..(sumthing like tat.. hehe)..
sincerely..ive always look at ur blog and looking out for some qoutation for the day.. hehe.. some words or thoughts by u tat i can perhaps use it for my life... kirekan mcm kate2 nasehatz la gitu...(faham kan?? =))...
reading ur entry ni... i reli wish i can noe wats bothering u... becasue from what i read... it is more of a general feeling that u faced... hmmm~~
but then... wat i can say... alhamdulillah... sometimes the self-conciousness u have in you akan mendorong diri awk kepada kebaikkan.. alhamdulillah... like i said before before before in one of my tags... that its good to hhave this self-conciousness because somehow, somewhere, someways...u will feel u did something that is not right...which means that is wrong.. u just feel it..but actually u didnt... this is because.. in you... ade rase takot.. ade rase kehambaan.. ade rase kekerdilan... :)
"takpe Khadijah. masa yang ada ni, selagi hayat dikandung badan, teruskanlah usaha mensucikan hati awak tu. ikhtiar. ok?" ---> insyaAllah... klw nak..btol2 tekad didalam hati k khadijah.. insyaAllah... if u dun get the moon..at least u will land on one fo the stars..(get the meaning how it is related to it).. wat im trying to tell is.. usaha segigihnye.. atleast He knows u did pout effort.. sesungguhnya Dia Yang Maha Mengetahui segala isi hati hamba2 Nya... Subhanallah...
:) ok khad.. jgn la sad2 gini sampai tknk post ape ape lagik entry... tkmo k.. klw blh post je.. quotation2 ke ape2 ke.. pokoknye..jgn stop enter the entry.. hehe.. k...
ni ade teka-teki.. klw pandai jawab.. hehehehe... "monyet panjat pokok nmpak pisang.. gajah panjat pook nampak ape?" (hehe)
maafkan nizam if i got say anything yg menyinggung perasaan awk... yang baik dari Allah..yg buruk dari diri kt sendiri...
take care sis..
ma'assalamah..