******

Now Khadijah:

Istikharah.

Ya Allah, how do I go about applying work leave until 18 August?? :(

Was touched by ustaz's sharings on the teaching strategies a teacher can emulate from Rasulullahﷺ's way of teaching.

About making students feel loved and cared for through attending to their different

- Aptitudes (kecenderungan)

- Paces (fast/not-so-fast learners)

- Learning Styles (mind-maps/bullet-forms/essay-style/diagrams/...)

He also mentioned about how an Islamic institution which claimed to uphold Islamic tradition, yet at the same time disrespect Islamic way of education by applying methods that are against Rasulullahﷺ's way.

For example: setting a very hard exam question for primary 3 students because "we need to prepare them for their tough seconday education later on.."

In contrast, Rasulullahﷺ mentioned that Allah Sent him معلّماً ميسِّراً.

And also the Hadith narrated by Malik ibn Al-Huwairith where he and some of his teenage friends spent 20 days to learn from Rasulullahﷺ and described Rasulullahﷺ as رَحيماً رفيقاً.

So approachable, so aware of his students (Rasulullahﷺ then detected that they have begun missing their families), and earned the trust of his students, such that they shared about the people they left at home with Rasulullahﷺ ...

Needless to say, I was deeply touched and motivated to improve my teaching strategies, which are seriously in need of boosts, sparks, zests... U name it.

Very timely livestreaming indeed. Thank You Allah for guiding my heart (and hands) to press the link and watch it till the end.

I can't help but be reminded of my Islamic History lessons for my Sec ONEs (yes. Note the emphasis there. Too much emphasis had been on the Sec Twos so far). Will be covering a new Unit tomorrow about Rasulullahﷺ The Leader of His People.

It's really upon me (with Allah's Grace n Help of course :')) to make the lesson interesting n meaningful for the students. From scratch (too long to be discussed here anw).

I repeat: for my dear Sec ONE students.

This year's Sec One batch have a special place in my heart. Esp the boys. Haha.

Ironically, I just had my observation this morning. Really appreciated Dr. Susan's feedback on how I can further improve the learning for understanding in the class.

Not really surprising for myself: I wasn't really nervous about it this morning. Perhaps because I have so much other things in my mind  as well.

Or perhaps I've been thru so much observations since this UbD thingy started that it gradually felt almost-normal.

It's ironic because those conversations were supposed to be The Spark. (Yes, somehow it did make me to be determined to improve some techniques for my next Sec 2 lessons, alhamdulillah). But I was pretty much nonchalant.

The Spark was only felt just now when watching Ustz Hasrizal's talk. I don't know whether it's just me being biased and naturally more inclined to more spiritual aspects of education.

The feeling I felt pre-observation this morning:

Just feeling that way -now that I really reflect on it, partly after watching Ustz Hasrizal's video just now- made me feel guilty.

But that seems to be the reality of me. now. as a teacher in Madrasah Aljunied. 2016.

I don't know if it's due to TOO much drillings on UbD.

I never deny the fact that UbD is useful. It's very beneficial indeed.

Just that it makes me feel kinda imbalance at times. Trying (or struggling) to juggle other tasks n subjects as well which actually are around 70% of all schoolwork. That 30% is the Sec 2 JMS.

But in reality, it's the other way round.

Am I making sense? *emoji yg ketawa keluar air mata tu*

k better stop now before sense is making me.

(See?? -_-")

lastly before I forget:

2 more reflections made today:

- alhamdulillah that registration for the Specialist Diploma in Applied Learning Practices (SDALT) just didn't work out. I really tried to register on that fateful day. Allah be my witness on the umpteenth attempts. Yet nothing worked out in the end :')

Now that I think of it, subhanallah! Allah Knows that I need to just focus on one teaching pedagogy for now. That is, that UbD. Remember those upcoming training courses in May-June, Sept and Nov??

- and oh. The Break.

I believe anyone reading this post can feel that this weak self -who carries the super heavy amaanah of teaching *ya Allah seramnye..*- is in dire need of a massive Recharge. How do I 'charge' others thru my lessons, empower others, motivate others well, when I myself am nearing the 'low battery' (or worse: dah almost flat! >.<) state??!!

O Allah, Please Guide me thru my affairs, and make easy the transactions/arrangements towards 'The Charge' I've been anticipating for years now... :'(

Genap setahun ayah pergi.

Wahai diri,

Apa kirimanmu buat Ayah yang menanti?

Bagaimana pula bekalanmu saat giliranmu menghampiri???

Another 20th March.

Exactly one year after Ayah left us.

May we be able to send many good deeds that make Ayah happy back there in the Barzakh.

...

Meanwhile, everytime I'm reminded of tomorrow's observation (1st time I'm going to be observed teaching a subject in English -___-"), anxiousness crept up.

Cepatlah berlaluuu~

I keep on feeling that it's a unfair for my other classes because this JMS new syllabus (sec 2) is taking so much time. Yet I also need to focus on assessments and lessons for my Sec 1 IH and Tauhid, Sec 3 Fiqh, and Sec 4 Al-Qur'an..

And I'm thinking how to complete marking 6 classes' CA Papers and tamriinat/assignments. And set time for my 5 talaqqi students and tutees.

Allahul Musta'an..

:'((

Lately, I find myself very interested in things related to doula. Triggered by this website (http://seekershub.org/blog/2016/03/why-muslim-doula/).

And so I'm contemplating on the idea to undergo training as one insyaAllah. Another form of Khidmah for my sisters, biidznillah. 

Right now I'm eyeing for the international AMANI Birth (www.amanibirth.com) training workshop.

When exactly to embark on this unique path, is another thing for me to thoroughly make istikharah upon & consider. It requires time and focus, and mine are now mostly spent on work at Madrasah Aljunied Al-Islamiah.

...

Meanwhile, just to update on some 'happenings' that took place this month:

The Eclipse Prayer (Solat Kusuuf/Gerhana Matahari) on 9th March. Followed by khutbah, do'a, n solar-viewing.

(do excuse me for the 'panorama-tak-menjadi. huhu)

...

Tonight after Maghrib, a 'haul' will be held at my place. A year has passed since Ayah left us and this temporary world :')

.... And so I've to start focusing on kemas-kemasssS~

and so tomorrow marks the first day of a so-not-one-week-break of March. Three straight days of UbD course at MUIS *menangis tak berlagu*

...

Alhamdulillah managed to get over another super hectic week. Qiyam banat Sec 3-4-5, Bahas Piala Mufti (believe it or not, they selected me to be part of the judges... Allahu Akbar!! 

Alhamdulillah I was able to stay alert -i think the coffee helped a lot- and focus on the debates, after the qiyamullail n overnighting in school). Really wanted to stay n watch the other teams but I just had to get back to the staff room...

And guess what?

Continued with the JMS slides for Observation that's gonna be on the FIRST day of school. 

Yep that's right. Next Monday.

*no point commenting anything*

Alhamdulillah managed to attend Seminar Hafazan at Masjid Sultan this morning. Ustz Khairul Anwar Basri n Ustz Surul Shabudin shared tips n motivations on memorising the Qur'an, including the various styles n techniques used to memorise n muraja'ah the Qur'an. Which included techniques used in India/Pakistan/Bangladesh, Malaysia, Turki, and Madinah..

Yaa Rabb... 

Again:

Just.gotta.PUSH.yourself.Khadijah!

Last night till early this morning, the feeling of giving up is kinda strong.

Or perhaps it was just an 'i need a break' feeling.

Or i think it's just me being suddenly emotional... 

Exhausted...

And weak.

Kenapa macam lemah sangat ni, Khadijah?? :'(

...

Right now, I'm at home. In fact I reached home slightly before 4:25pm i think.

Took the one-hour time off (but by the time i left school, it was almost 3:20pm. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal :'))

Getting home early is nice. After what felt like months of reaching home past 6pm~ (padahal baru early March eh).

But loads of work awaits there (in my mind just now, I was ticking an imaginary school-chores list). Even if I stay back late, the work just never ends. 

In a way, it's good to know that your schedule is full....

Just that: is this what I'm prepared to do/face for upcoming years as well? 

hmm. *torn*

btw, Huda suggested Joy EO to me last night. And so I began carouselling it. Quite pricey, but reading the blends involved, I'm tempted :p