Dars bulanan bersama Habib Ali Zaenal Abidin, sekali lagi amat menyentuh hati. Bermula dengan jilsah asatizah yang lebih fokus kepada pembentukan peribadi seorang Da'ie yang sebenar-benarnya..
Kepada dars Riyadhus Salihiin tentang LUASnya Rahmah & KasihNya..
Banyak membuat hati ini sayu, lantas mengenang sikap diri yg perlu pada islah yg bukan sedikit.
merenung kesilapan-kesilapan.
menampal kekurangan.
Menanyakan soalan-soalan.
Kritikal!
Amat halus!
"Adakah benar aku marah ini kerana Allah? Dan bukan kerana sebarang kepentingan diri sendiri??"
"Adakah benar apa yg kuucapkan ini sama dengan hakikat perasaan yang tersemat di hati???"
"Tahu Allah itu Suka ini, Suruh ini.. Sedar syurga itu mahal, berbaloi bersusah2 di dunia ini utk kesenangan abadi di sana (seperti yang dibincangkan dalam kelas2 Tauhid di madrasah bersama para pelajar)... Lalu apa Buktinya amalmu dgn ilmumu wahai Khadijah???!"
:'((
...
While on the way home in the train, some thoughts and perhaps "resolutions" spurred in my mind:
- to stop reiterating nor lament nor mention any more negative things pertaining Sec 1Betuah. Enough "curhat" a.k.a. "Luahan Perasaan" for the past months. Yes The Class is very Different. Just keep on praying that Allah Ta'ala Guide them, soften their hearts, beautify their Akhlaq.
Kata-kata guru adalah do'a, kan? :'(
So speak good things, or remain silent. At least try this technique, for the last Tauhid lesson for 2015 on next Monday insyaAllah. Ok Khadijah? :')
- to cut off my time online. Perhaps I should just delete the wifi password from my phone. So that I won't be tempted to even spend much time online. Just stick to the normal Whatsapp plan like last time. Safer for my iman, time, and eyes! *still contemplating..*
oh yes, n so I won't be tempted to browse all thise stuffs online. From Carousell (yes I know i can get comfortable, branded shoes at less than half the retail price, children's books & educational toys at such affordable prices, Young Living oils at up to 20% off the wholesale price, etc. But that doesn't justify the hours you spent browsing thru those pages, does it? Lebih byk mudharat dari manfaat... Esp. since knowing myself, I won't be buying that much stuff online. so why still need to cuci mata -____-"""") to iHerbs (got to know from 3rd bro. Sells loads of organic n healthy stuffs. and much much affordable Essential Oils compared to YL (altho i still buy certain YL oils like Peppermint & Thieves). So much for the 'essential oils fever' that made me order few bottles of them, on top of carrier oil lagi~ siap lah tu nak gaya hidup bebas pills~ (insyaAllah :'))
n FB! altho I'm still able to leave FB for a few days w/out checking it, when I decide/remember to check it few days later, I found myself scrolling down n down never-ending newsfeeds... Yes, a lot of beautiful quotes/info. but aren't there other priorities in life O Khadijah??
Really miss my old Syrian days, free of internet at home. Checking FB only once a month i guess. Going to the internet cafe just few times / month for emails/calls (at times)/blogging ;)
shall stop for now.
hope can put all of the above into practice real soon...
Allahul Musta'an!!
