Friday, October 21, 2011
to Syam, with Love
23 Zulkaedah 1432H

another Friday, alhamdulillah.

almost a month have passed since I stepped in homeland.
the first week had been challenging;

seeing scantily-clad people almost everywhere...
hearing booming music of all sorts at shops and shopping malls...
glancing at the kinds of posters and pictures placed at MRT and bus stations, on the road, at the underground tunnel...
and more of such nauseas sights on the TV (they're annoyingly inevitable, since eventhough what one wants to watch is just the news, they still appear during the commercial breaks!).

even the print media like Berita Harian contains pictures of indecently-clad (Mosty Malay) women. so disappointing and inappropriate, i feel. even the contents sometimes. like the review of an Indonesian artist's concert that just took place recently. the female writer was describing how the singer and her dancers were wearing very revealing clothes, etc. etc. and in the end, wrote that she (the writer herself) had became one of her fans.

This reminds me of the hadith: "almar-u ma'a man ahab" (a person is with whom he loves (in the Hereafter).
O Allah, Please let me love only the things that You Love, and only those who love You. ameen.

at home, seeing my youngest sis so inseparable from her headphones (obviously not listening to things that will bring us closer to HIM) make me even more uneasy inside. (i love u so much sis. just disliking this one habit of yours)

perhaps all these are so common to every Singaporean ("so what's the big deal?").

but for me, it's unbearable...

even revulsive at times. sorry for being blunt, but i'm just being honest.

at some instances, i even had to restrain myself from reaching "boiling point".

since the past years, especially the previous 2 years, I've been abstaining from music. slowly after that, i also tried not to listen to any nasyid -yes, even Maher Zain's -that contain musical instruments, due to the khilaf in the issue, and also inspired by some of my teachers and friends back there in Syam ,particularly the ones at Dar al-Hajibiah (my lovely dorm).

on the streets, most of the women are veiled, and wear dark-coloured clothes. oh, how I truly miss the sight of the beautiful ladies in Syria, most of them wearing manteaus or abayas...
I miss the Qura'nic recitation, Syeikh Nabulsi's dars and melodious, soothing nasyid and qasidah that can be heard while one walks on the streets of Damascus, particluarly the area near Abu Nour.

the exchange of do'a that is a must in every conversation, even when buying things:
"mu'awwadin insyaAllah!"
"Allah yaftah 'alaik"
"Allah yajziikil kheir!"
"Allah yu'tikil 'afiyah!"
"Allah yajbur khatirik!"
"Allah yukhallik!"
"Allah yubaarik feek!"
"Allah yahfazuki!"

and the list goes on :)

and there are special souls who seems as if they're created solely to bring happiness to others' lives, making others feel so comfortable and grateful to be with them. such as Anisah Maisa' Mubayyadh (whom we Singaporean sisters nicknamed "Anisah Malaikat" bcos she is always seen smiling, and never ever getting angry, lest a frown on her peaceful, pleasant face!). in my conversations with her, I can still remember the countless du'a she made for me. it makes me weep reminiscing those instances :')

there's the Mudirah of Dar al-Hajibiah, Anisah Iman al-Kull, from whom i've learnt many things, -wal hamdulillah- particularly about matters related to the heart. the spirituality. I've learnt to view things from different perspectives. the way she carries herself, the captivating way through which her lessons are being delivered, the words she used, the scenarios ("perumpamaan") she gave (and she really has a knack at it!).... u can feel how they touch your soul. as easy as that. right then and there. (n more often than not, tears will start streaming down my cheeks. malu betol~ susah jugak jadi Khadijah Mohamed Hussain ni.)

She tirelessly remind us how we should value every millisecond.
that we should really strive to fill our life with beneficial activities that will only bring us closer to HIM.
that we should constantly FIGHT our nafs (desires).
that we should continue improving ourselves.
that we are the "Muhaajirat" (the Immigrants), and that we will have that special place and rewards if we truly carry out our amanah as tullabul 'ilm who leave their loved ones back home, solely for the sake of Allah, to deepen our knowledge in this beautiful deen...

then there's my dear Anisah Iqbal Muhanna, who patiently corrected my Qur'anic recitations, who always share kind advices with me, in that gentle voice of hers. who always reminds me that whenever i'm facing difficulties and having problems, yet i know that my relationship with HIM has never change, that I -spiritually- have not change (meaning that i'm still maintaining a good relationship with HIM) , then I shouldn't feel sad. rather, I should be calm, relax and happy. because that only means that it's a Test to raise my status 'indahu (di sisi-Nya), insyaAllah :') even till this very day, my eyes still well up just remembering her gentle face and voice...

and how will I ever forget my lovely Anisah Maha al-Harbali? she who sacrificed a whole lot of her time for me. since April 2011 and all the way till a few days before I leave Syam (15th September), we met almost everyday! -except for Fridays (which is the weekend holiday) of course.
the hours spent,
the stories and secrets shared,
and especially the motivation she has always been showering me with.
her trust and faith in myself, perhaps even more than the faith I have in my own self.
How she cared for me. She's able to sense when something's "not right" with me, like the time when I was so sad and angry with myself -and I thought nobody noticed it.

but she did.
my ever-so-observant and brilliant Anisah Maha sensed it (although never once in class I caught her glancing in my direction long enough to notice). and so she met me after class, and enquire about it, asking: "are you tired?" ("no.), "are you sad?" (yes. I'm sad with myself.)... and she said those golden words that still ring in my ears (which means):
"I don't want to see you sad. I want to see you radiant, shining ("musyriqah" -like the sun).
and during the days of my final exam, she never forgot to ask -after every paper- how it was, and how i think i did for that subject. after which she will reiterate those "scary" words: al-Uula Khadijah, al-Uula. (the First Khadijah, the First). there were the days when i felt that i didn't do very well, n i told her so. the days when i got kind of demotivated and not-so-confident anymore. but her confidence in me remained.

those memorable moments spent with you (especially the one in the library and the one at jami' Abu Nour -the both days during which i had inexplicable difficulty recalling what i've memorised from the Qur'an in front of you) will always have a special place in my heart, ya Anisatii :)

the other person who has such strong confidence in me is Anisah Safa Musa, one of the musyrifaat at my dorm. she's just a few years older than me, and we connect very well. she's so enthusiastic in helping others, especially when students at the dorm approach her for help in their studies.

the other musyrifaat are as kind and approachable =D

>Anisah Hannan -the "selamba" one who is a hot favourite among all sisters in the dorm. she's so easy-going and hardworking.

>Anisah Zuhur -the most gentle of all, always adressing us with loving words like: "na'am habibty/ruuhi/'aini..." ("yes my love/ my soul/ my eye" -symbolic words the Arabs use to address their loved ones)

>Anisah Maisa' -the intelligent one who helped me with the Civilisation of Politics and Oriental Studies -the two subjects that require students to know the meanings of innumerable bombastic words.

>Anisah Anwar -the really cute one who really seem to enjoy cleaning the office.hehe

>Anisah Ibtisam a.k.a. Umm Ghaith -who works really hard managing tasks at the dorm and handling her 2 little kids. Ghaith is SUPER DUPER adorable. tak blh angs~ bismillahi maasyaAllah!

>Anisah Amani: the anisah who overnite with us the most because of her frequent night shifts. the one who often has the taqm solah (telekung) on when she's at the dorm. hehe

>Anisah Fatinah: the Unique anisah who is well-known for her "uniqueness" among Hajibians ;) she only gets along very well with some students, and she seems to be very comfortable with me, to the extent that she has me keeping her stuffs for her (thanks for the trust in me=)), and love to hear my sharings/experiences/future plans...

>Anisah Mona -the motherly anisah, who helped me in quite a number of "girly stuffs". *winks*

>Anisah Mirvat -the bubbly anisah who just finished her Masters. has a happy-go-lucky demeanor


this, is just to name a few (there are still my lecturers at kuliah, the khaleh (aunties) who help out at the kuliah, my teachers outside of school, the masyaaikh with whom i've had lessons with at the jami', my Singaporean sisters, my dorm mates, my 'Adra (a countryside situated around an hour from Damascus) buddies a.k.a. Siddiqah and Mardhiyah, my classmates from various countries, the "bookshop brothers" who lower their gaze, etc.)
to all of them Syamis who've made my stay in Syam truly meaningful, enriching and unforgettable, I can only pray that may Allah Ta'ala Bless and Reward all of you with the Best of His Rewards, may He The Almighty Protect Syam and its People, and may He The Most Kind Gather us all again -if not in this dunya, then in the perpetual Jannah. ameen ya Rabb!

p.s. knowing all of you made leaving Syam unbelievably difficult...and painful.
it still throb every now and then, but oh well -
you've just got to be STRONG Khadijah, and Stronger. Tougher than you were when you were back there in Syam, insyaAllah!

plus, there are those in Singapore who require much attention and care from you.
like your Syaakirah and Huda, who are just beside you at the moment. always lingering around me. nak bermanja-manjalah katekan~ hehe...

this two budak bertuah, and their 1001 antics. perhaps will post an entry on this, but that'll have to wait. gotta rest my eyes.
fi amanillah everyone~ (:
 
posted by .:Mujahidah Khadijah:. at 10/21/2011 03:56:00 PM | Permalink |


0 Comments:


Post a Comment ~ back home