U wrote: "..da kawen, dating jadi halal, dpt pahala lagi. renungan mata sblm nikah antara boy dgn girl boleh jadi zina mata. tapi lepas nikah, renungan kasih menjadi peluang menambah pahala. gurau mepek2 sebelum nikah mengundang dosa, tapi senda gurau lepas nikah pun jadi medan memungut pahala."

jazakumullah khair for reminding all of us this. i hope the people who leave messages at ur tagboard take note of the message above.

by the way, istilah, "zina mata", is it the same category as 'zina'? i'm very afraid of this.. nobody is perfect. kadang-kadang terpandang dan 'terlena' dgn pandangan samada sengaja atau tak sengaja..

by the way, u shuld use black or orange font colors.. if u use light gray against a white background, macam mana orang nak baca? he,he

wld like to share something abt Zifaaf, becos the other time u said in ur sms "pandangan mata mungkin tersilap".

Some new findings about gender, sexual orientation and love by psychology professor Richard A. Lippa, a research consultant for the 2005 BBC Science documentary “Secrets of the Sexes",

-When asked to rank the importance of 23 traits that they seek in a mate, men and women agreed on the top nine: intelligence, humor, honesty, kindness, good looks, facial attractiveness, values, communication skills and dependability.

But, men ranked good looks and facial attractiveness higher than the other traits, whereas women ranked honesty, humor, kindness and dependability highest.

'Nampaknya', memang kaum lelaki lazimnya suka wanita yang lawa. Pandangan menjadi daya tarikan utama bagi kaum lelaki.

Maybe, some women might be disappointed with this 'fact'.

Perhaps, to turn it around, women should realise the importance of keeping themselves neat and 'pretty' at the same time not inviting unnecessary attention or 'zina mata' from man.

Also in the Duaa for a blissful marriage: "Allahumma rabana hab lana min azwaajinaa wa zurriyyatina qurrata a-ayun waj-alna lil muttaqeena imaama" (O Allah! grant us such wives and offspring who will be a source of coolness for our eyes, and make us leaders of the Allah-Fearing)

Take note that "qurrata a-ayun", source of coolness for our eyes" is being mentioned.

Hence, memang pandangan mata menjadi salah satu penilaian penting bagi mereka yang nak pilih pasangan mahupun mereka yang telah berkahwin.

wallahu'alam

tntg "zina mata" tu, kalau terpandang, tidak mengapa. coz i remember a story where Rasulullah said to a sahabah that the first sight "dibolehkan", but when the sahabah wanted to turn his gaze to the lady for the second time, Rasulullah tegur dia.

for me, if u're able to control ur gaze, ("ghaddul basar"), n practise it, insyaAllah tak perlu risau :)

black fonts? mcm "kasar" sgt to me, esp against my white background. tak sedap mata saya memandang. n why should it be orange? (i know ur tagborad black n orange la k.. =P)
"if u use light gray against a white background, macam mana orang nak baca?"

>> ler. kalaulah mmg susah nak baca, mcm mana awk boleh sampai comment lagi. panjang pulak tu. nampak sah awk boleh baca kan? =D anw, oklah, maybe next time i shall use a slightly darker shade of gray.

i didn't quite catch this part:
"women should realise the importance of keeping themselves neat and 'pretty' at the same time not inviting unnecessary attention or 'zina mata' from man."

did u mean, we have to keep ourselves neat n pretty so that men will be attracted to us, since according to the above findings, "men ranked good looks and facial attractiveness higher than the other traits" ?

personally, on days where i have the mood to dress "neatly" or "prettily", it's for self-satisfaction (kasi diri sendiri happy, nak "main2" dgn diri sendiri...) n to uphold a good image of a Muslim. kalau pakai baju mepek2/selekeh2/mashem nnt kan kasi bad impression on Muslims to the ppl around us, esp the non-Muslims. ("eeei.. Muslims ni pengotor eh" etc etc. >>sedih kan kalau jadi gini? huu~)

peduli apa kte whether guys find me attractive or not -_-" in fact, for me it's the opposite. the less attractive i am, hopefully the lesser the chance that men will glance/look at me. n that makes me feel safe n relieved. phew~
if a guy is attracted to me bcoz of my physical outlook, i truly doubt it'll last. lama-kelamaan rupa dan tubuh akan dimamah usia jugak. kerepot gak.

after nikah, then it's a whole different story altogether. that, i won't touch here.

neverthelesss, thanks for your sharings n comments.

Allahu wa rasuuluHU 'alam.

"women should realise the importance of keeping themselves neat and 'pretty' at the same time not inviting unnecessary attention or 'zina mata' from man."


what i meant is, women be it yang belum kahwin mahupun yang sudah, (esp. Muslimah) should keep themselves neat and dress well. This does not mean berpakaian "menjolok mata" of course.

my opinion above is inspired by the dua "qurrata a-yun" or 'source of coolness for" the husbands' eyes.

is not about whether you're pretty or not. its about dressing well to look good.

just to share with you, generally the Brothers have higher temptations & urges, I think. Dugaan is almost everywhere; when you go Cheers and see the magazines on the shelves, advertisements on MRTs, TVs, the people around you... hence esp for a Mukmin, it's always a blessing to have a "good-looking" wife or at least a "friend" whom one can confide in.

everyone, i think, needs a wife/husband or a "friend" to safeguard him/herself.

marriage at the moment, in this context, becomes relevant only after each side has a full-time job and can support each other etc.

the problem arise when, if can't afford to get married, what do you do to combat the "dugaan"?

i'm myself exploring for the answer